If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
