I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
