I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
