Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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