my mouth tastes like poor choices
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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