I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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