Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
