Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
