I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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