Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
