She said her name was "party"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
