ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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