It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and i looked up. we had an audience...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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