Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Send help, water and tortillas.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
