Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
