hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
