so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
