Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You left your phone here
Wait...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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