i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
