apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
