quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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