Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
