Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
