"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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