Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
