doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
