Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
