I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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