My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
