I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
