ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
too bad you live with your parents still
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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