YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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