Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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