That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
