I puked a lego.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
