I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
