So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
