How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
