He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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