i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
