In the future we'll all be gay
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
