Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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