For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
