He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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