talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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