She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
