It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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