I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
