Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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