return my video game
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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