I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
