I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize