K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
