Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize