I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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