She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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