All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize