I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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