I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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